My Guilty Pleasure

Reality TV is nothing new. Personally, as a teenager, I was an avid fan and viewer of MTV’s original reality show and mother of them all, The Real World. This concept has been around for years. But what always amazes me, are the twists on the concept. First, it was Survivor – strangers on an island, who can last the longest? Then, there were the competitive dating shows (that just keep getting weirder), competitive performances, then self improvement shows – makeovers, parenting, rehab, and then the “swap” shows – houses, spouses, whatever. And now, lifestyle shows.

 

Lifestyle shows aren’t exactly a new concept either. Anyone remember Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous complete with posh narrator Robin Leach? Lifestyle shows are currently the core of prime-time on E! Television. Whether you prefer watching Snoop Dog interact with his family, or Kimora purchase her next home, or stylist Kim Kardashian conflict with her sisters, there certainly seems to be something for everyone. The hottest lifestyle show for E! is the one that showcases the goings on surrounding the legendary Hugh Hefner and his three, yes three, girlfriends, The Girls Next Door.

When I first saw the show, I was intrigued and curious, as well as a bit nervous. I certainly didn’t want to have my eyes violated, but at the same time, everything was the most glorious shade of pink and the ladies, they were gorgeous and funny and well, by this time, I was hooked. The show is actually far less about the production of soft core porn and more about the decadent living one can experience from peddling said porn.

 

At first, I watched to be envious. To see the big house, the cars, the trips, to see what it would really be like when money was no object. The best part was that it wasn’t just big and flashy, it was girly, feminine, glamourous and the epitamy of fabulous. As I continued to watch, I started to feel connected to the girls. The whole show is really from the perspective of the three 20-somethings that reside in the mansion with Hef. They tell their story how they see things.

There is the definitive dichotomy to the show, as there usually is with reality shows, that is, there are the obvious things that are being stated, and the subtle things that you have to put together yourself. For example, all the girls have jobs and opportunities, and it would be easy to say that they’ve got some advantage and have been given things because they are sleeping with the 80 year old founder of Playboy, but when you watch the show and understand the interactions, you can see that’s not the whole story. These woman have had to prove themselves to get the jobs they have. Holly is the west coast photo editor for the magazine and worked her way up into that position. She would have never gotten the job had she not worked hard and been an effective contributor during photo shoots. Hef is a better business man than to let her have control if she wasn’t talented. Bridget has her own radio program, with which to use her Master’s Degree in Communications and Kendra, well, Kendra’s very young and she’s hot, and she loves to shake what she’s got, so she has plenty of modeling jobs and the like. Yes, these ladies got a foot in the door because of being a Girlfriend, but they’ve had to prove themselves to keep and advance in those jobs. These ladies aren’t dumb, in fact, if you’re looking for it, you can see that they are, in fact, very savvy.

Hugh Hefner himself never actually sits down in front of the camera to explain things like the ladies do, but it’s quite clear from his interactions with the ladies, that he is a man in charge, not surprising for the original playboy and multimillionaire. He’s got a brilliant mind for business and a gentlemanly demeanor. He’s charismatic, charming, young at heart, and rich to boot. It’s easy to see why women fawn over him.

While Hef is a man in charge, he’s not a controlling or demeaning person. He uses a gentle but firm voice when giving instructions or requests. The immediate, exacting reactions of the staff are what reflect Hef’s power and monetary influence. This isn’t a job you’d want to mess up. Even with the ladies, Hef is in charge, but he’s not a tyrant by any means. He encourages and ensures that the ladies are in touch with their parents frequently and has their family as guests at the mansion on a seemingly regular basis. These women aren’t secluded or controlled, they are, however, influenced and clearly expected to uphold certain standards of behavior. Hef himself has stated that there is a routine in their daily lives (let’s not forget the show is only about six to ten days out of every six months or so) and the women know what to expect. I’d venture to say that they also know what’s expected.

Another thing that’s simultaneously subtle and obvious about the lifestyle these four are leading is that they are in a polygamous relationship. Subtle, because there is no on camera sex or sexual elements of the relationships, but obvious because it is a modern day harem. Hef has his girls and manages to make sure they are well kept. There’s nothing the girls could possibly want in the world. You also notice that the girls don’t ask for much. It would be easy to assume they are gold digging bimbos, but watching the ladies interact with Hef, they treat him with respect, admiration and seemingly genuine affection. They are grateful for what has been provided for them and continue to remain humble and gracious instead of whiney and demanding. The fact that they share the man of the house, while the crux of the show, is hardly ever mentioned and easy to forget.

The other thing that is easy to forget is that this is Playboy. This is the age-old patriarch of shiny paged porn and soft focus blondes frolicking in exotic settings. It’s the standard, the benchmark, the starting point for the industry. It’s easy to forget because you are seeing women, not as objects, but as people. The ladies are telling. They are personable. They are God-made human beings with hearts and minds and *gulp* souls. It was a surprise to the producers and subjects of the show to learn that their audience is largely female, but I’m not a bit surprised. Guys don’t want to relate to their porn, that’s the point of having porn. It doesn’t talk or have feelings, it’s a guy’s fantasy, which doesn’t include having to listen to a lady’s point of view. If a guy wanted to get involved, he’d get a real girlfriend, not glossy pictures of one. And my suspicion is that if the purchasers of porn had to see the humanity of all the girls they looked at, the industry would fold pretty quickly.

While this show has single handedly resurrected the Playboy brand, it’s also changed the brand to be not only the images men want to oogle, but also the image young women want to emulate, lending itself naturally to produce clothing lines, fragrances and cosmetics as well as jewelry and accessories. No doubt we’ll be seeing more Bunnies as this show gains popularity.

Nobody’s Perfect, Indeed

My daughter is a nine year old. And being a nine year old, she does the things most nine year olds do. We’ve protected her without coddling her. We’ve been able to talk about what’s acceptable and what’s right without violating her innocence and supporting her when she has to make her own decisions. But then again, she’s only 9, so those decisions aren’t monumental by any stretch of the imagination. 

One of the decisions she’s made and we’ve supported is her taste in music. Now, to be fair, we heavily influenced her preferences from a very early age. Instead of stars that twinkle, cows who poll-vault celestial bodies and boys who run through town in their nightshirts, she listened to what we listened to. Phish was probably the band heard most in our home. While their lyrics in songs like “Contact” (the tires are the things on the car that make contact with the road) and “Opossum” (the road is your end, and your end is the road) are as equally silly as nursery rhymes, the musical complexity of these jams rival the classical musicians that were being marketed to children at the time. She was exposed to good music.

So here we are nine years later and her playlists include Johnny Cash, that one radio edit from Rage Against the Machine, Waterdeep, The News Boys, and of course, what every nine year old girl has in their CD player, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus.

She snuck that last one in there all on her own. It was her choosing. We had all been sitting around one Saturday while her aunt and uncle were here for a visit and she asked “Mom, can I watch Hannah Montana?”

and being that I hadn’t seen it and hadn’t been too impressed with Disney Channel so far, I said “No.”

and her aunt spoke up, “Why not? I love that show!”

So we did the responsible thing and sat down together and all watched as a family. And we’ve seen every episode ever since. It’s a cute show, it’s punchy and funny and very far from “cutting edge”. It’s entertaining and the kids on the show deliver their lines with fantastic comical precision.

The songs and music performed by Hanna Montana (Miley Cyrus) is your typical pop music with inspirational lyrics. Songs about making mistakes and getting up to do better. Songs about not getting down on yourself too much, but trying again. Songs about being a pop star on the outside and being “just one of the girls” on the inside. Nothing controversial, nothing objectionable.

As we continued to watch the show and listen to the music along came tidbits, interviews and backstage tours featuring Miley Cyrus and her family, mostly her famous post-mullet father, Billy Ray Cyrus. They seemed above average. Her parents were still married, had other seemingly well adjusted kids and they all got along great.

Miley managed to stay out of tabloids for the most part, and her interviews were playful and funny and very, very innocent.

There were occasions, during this past year, that the idea would creep in. You know, Brittany Spears had a squeaky clean reputation once. She was a teen pop star. Everyone thought her dad was fantastic too. But I would suppress those ideas because you know, you can’t judge one teen pop princess by the actions of another. Can you? Besides, we’d cross that bridge when we got there. She’s only 15, what could possibly go wrong?

What could possibly wrong? Vanity Fair. That’s what could possibly go wrong.

Thank goodness for all those songs she sings about not being perfect and everybody making mistakes, otherwise, I wouldn’t know what to tell my nine year old.

My husband wonders why I think the subject will come up. I’m betting it will. I’m disappointed to say the least and now Miley is going on the record saying she’s “embarrassed” and the photographer, in her defense, quotes Miley as saying “”It wasn’t in a skanky way … And you can’t say no to Annie. She’s so cute. She gets this puppy dog look and you’re like, ‘O.K.’” (The fact that the photographer is quoting Miley as saying this makes me think she should be hiding her methods of manipulation, not flaunting them).

If you look at the candid shots, you can see what the atmosphere was like and how Miley saw it at the time. There doesn’t seem to be anything remarkable or controversial about this shot:

A lot of people are making a big stink out of all of this and quite frankly I think they don’t remember being 15. If Vanity Fair published the things I did publicly at 15, you’d all be too embarrassed to admit you know me. I think most of us could say that. But there is one BIG difference. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Mostly I knew it because I knew my parents would FLIP out if they found out. And at this photo shoot, her parents, or at least dear ol’ dad, was present. Which makes me wonder how he feels today. Was he as naive as she was? Something tells me he shouldn’t have been. I think the firestorm is going to rain heavier on his head and that of the photographer than on Miley’s and that’s as it should be.