Sprawl-mart - 10/5/06

When we moved to our fantastic city of 90,000 people two years ago, I noticed something wonderful. The Wal-mart was your basic clothes, CDs, cleaning supplies, toys and toiletries type of Wal-mart. No groceries, no miles and miles of walking, no 50 check out lanes.

I thought that said something about our fair city. I thought it meant that this university town was conscientious enough to reject the world domination that company seeks. As a matter of fact, I later learned the city was in litigation with Wal-mart over the issues of its impending expansion. But to no avail, the corporate giant is crushing. They suck the life out of small businesses and use their insurmountable wealth to legally defend their right to do so.

While this case was being sorted out and then put on hold, it became a hot topic in the community. So, I did what every responsible well meaning American should do, evaluated my experiences and compiled some research.

I grew up shopping at Wal-mart. No one ever talked about the origins of the products, the low wages the employees were receiving or the insufficient heath care. As a matter of fact, my husband worked for Wal-mart in the auto department for a while. It was during his training that we got an indication that something was amiss.

It started when he was required to watch anti-union videos in his training and to pledge that he would not belong to, start or ask others to start a worker’s union. Things seem even more strange when he was introduced to the Wal-mart “cheer”. It eerily resembled spiritual gathers we’d been to. Where else do you stand with others and sing about how great something is?

Later, when I was a loan processor at a bank in Iowa the rumors (later confirmed when they submitted the necessary paperwork) were that Wal-mart was starting it’s own bank. That’s when I began accusing them of desiring world domination. First it was groceries, then gas, next is banks. Those three things cover just about every consumable product that is not delivered directly to your home, but on that note, they also have Wal-mart internet access and they’ve partnered with Netflix. Will Wal-mart utilities be next?

If you’ve still not grasped the unprecedented magnitude of the Wal-mart corporation, how about this: 5 of the top 10 richest people in the United States are Wal-mart benefactors. Read that again. Over half of the top 10 have income coming from the same source. Not only that, but Wal-mart corporation ranks 18th in charitable giving in this country. If there is enough income to produce half of the top 10 richest people then why do they rank 18th on the list of charitable giving?

That’s not the only unbelievable statistic.

“If Wal-Mart were an individual economy, it would rank as China’s eighth-biggest trading partner, ahead of Russia, Australia and Canada,” Xu said.

Wal-mart is hoarding billions from desperate people locked into poorer standards of living. They are missing an opportunity and doing it to the tune of billions of dollars in their pocket. Since Wal-mart HAS this kind of buying power, shouldn’t they take the lead in raising wages?

If you’re interested in more information, the movie High Cost of Low Price is very compelling in it’s arguments against Wal-mart.  The web site, www.walmartwatch.com is adequate.  

Some people like to point out that we live in a free enterprise system and this corporation is just the natural product of our economic system. Others agree with me and feel as though they have no choice or can do nothing about it. Let me state that we can use our free enterprise system against Wal-mart. Your dollar is your vote. Shopping locally is the smartest and easiest way to combat this corporate giant. Supporting your local business is not as costly as the large discount retailers would have you believe. Honestly, would you rather give your money to your neighbor, or to half of the top 10 richest people in the country?

Yeah, I’m a Christian - 10/17/06

Out my frustration with recent experiences, I’d like to just sit down and cover the basic tenants of Christianity.  I am contentiously astounded by the misunderstandings that non-Christians have of our Faith.

#1 - Freewill (most Christians hate it) - First and foremost, God created us and everything in nature.  He created people, and because He loved them and wanted them to love Him, He gave them freewill.  Why would He do that if He is good and wants people to only do good?  Well, the answer is simple.  He doesn’t just want people to do good, He wants people to WANT to do good.  If he just wanted a bunch of goodness running around, he would’ve created robots.  But instead, He chose, free thinking, free standing, cognizant individuals who are capable of making decisions.  Thus, we are like Him (or “in His image”)  The very definition of “love” is making a choice.  If we didn’t have a choice, then there could be no love.

#2 Sin (we all do it)  - God is good, or rather good is God.  So many people make the mistake of thinking that good/bad is something entirely separate from God.  But goodness is simply anything God is and sin is anything God is not.  For example, God is Love, so love is good.  Hate (of people) is not God, so hate is bad.  On a semi-related note, Satan is NOT the opposite of God.  Satan is a created being who cannot create anything and is not an equally all-powerful evil entity.  He is not and cannot be absolute evil.  Satan hates God and uses his limited influence to distort good things (i.e. Sex is good, pervert it and it’s bad. same with food, wine, pharmaceuticals, just about anything that is bad, is actually a perversion of something that is good.  Think about that.)

#3 Relationship - Since we’ve established that God is good, perfect actually, and He is the definition of “good”, then anything that is not good, cannot be in His presence.   He wants us to choose Him, but because of our sin, we are separated from God.  In the Old Testament, God set forth laws concerning sacrifices for sin.  I can’t explain it all, but blood covers sin.  So, for the years covered in the Old Testament (most say generally 4,000 years) sacrifices were accepted as a covering up of sin.  Jesus, (who was God in the flesh) came into the picture and being God, was perfect.  When He was killed,  His perfect blood made Him a perfect sacrifice and a perfect sacrifice doesn’t just cover up sin, it removes sin.  After the removal of our sin, we can once again be in relationship with God.

#4 Authority - I don’t understand people who willfully disobey God.  If you had a stock broker that created the stock market, and knew the future, wouldn’t you hire him and take his advice when he offered it?  So why not listen to God when He advises you on living?  People think He’s on some power trip and wants to be everybody’s boss, but actually, He’s a Father and any parent knows that we tell our kids not to do things so that they don’t get hurt.  God exists outside of time and He can see what’s best for us.  Our freewill allows us to obey or struggle on our own terms.  He doesn’t desert us if we disobey, but as any parent knows, it’s not fun to see your children making choices that could hurt them.

#5 Repentance -This word was actually a military term in the days of the New Testament which means “about face”.  You turn from sin and toward God.  Continually making a conscious effort to reject sin and desire God.  This is the love God seeks.  This is the love you were created for.  No one can do this perfectly, but your effort is true worship.

As simple as this makes it, this really is just about all there is to it.  

If you’re the intellectual type and really want to read more on the subject, you should check out “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis (yes the Narnia guy).  Oh, and the Bible, that’s a good one, too.  

In Response 10/30/06

This blog is inspired, in part by the discussion on this blog, particularly the following comments:

“I’ve actually never been there, because I *don’t* get it. Is Christian coffee different than, say Muslim coffee? Must I be a Christian to enter? If I’m not a Christian, would I want to enter? I’m not much of a hanger-outer in coffee shops, so I probably won’t ever go anyway. Well, I might check out the art gallery, I didn’t know that was there. I just always wondered about the place. I don’t think “Christian coffee shop” as I have heard it termed is very self explanatory…. I guess that’s why I don’t get it. Maybe I’ll check it out sometime.”

And my favorite….

“I think that Christian coffee comes with a double shot of guilt, and a good frothy head of self-righteousness if you ask for it right…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One thing that really bugs me is the response I get from Christians when they notice I don’t wear Christian clothing, or display Christian art in my home, or listen to only Christian music or vote for only Christian candidates, or listen to Christian radio or have a goofy Christian bumper sticker on my car.

I mean, really what is Christian coffee?

For example, my mother-in-law, whom I love dearly, takes fantastic pictures of things like flowers and trees and birds and the like. But she insists that her art is Christian and names each one of them after a Bible verse. She can’t simply let nature speak for itself. She wants to make her faith a central part of sycamore trees.

She was terribly disappointed when we told her the music festival we were going to last summer wasn’t a Christian music festival. (Now, I must state for the record that we do have a history of attending the most awesome Christian music festival on the planet in Bushnell, IL. And it is Christian because they only invite bands who profess a faith in Jesus and have songs based on their faith, life experiences and the Bible. This is a particularly cool thing because most of the bands there don’t get air time on your average Hallelujah radio stations (WDLM etc) We’ve seen some really great bands there including Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Sixpence None the Richer and P.O.D….(Longest. Parenthetical. Statement. Ever.)) But we don’t want to limit ourselves to only Christian music. Other bands make good music too.

I don’t want to live in a Christian bubble, because Jesus lived His life with people outside of His beliefs. Jesus brought them good news. How can we bring other people that good news if we only wear, listen to, look at and vote for Christian things? We would have no grid for anything “worldly” and would be ineffective at communicating God’s love to those who need it.

I’m not afraid that I’m going to get dirty or unsaved because I hear an expletive (or even if I say one myself). I am afraid, however, that putting a little fish on my car may give Jesus some bad P.R., especially if I cut someone off on 6th street. Wearing cheesy Tshirts doesn’t help our culture “get it”; it makes them not want to have anything to do with it.

I’ve heard a lot of Christians claim to be persecuted for their faith. Then they tell their story and I want to say “Um, you weren’t being persecuted for your faith, you were being persecuted for being a dumb ass.” But I don’t say that, exactly.

I’m shocked by the numbers of people my age who think they know what Christianity is, but the comments they make about it are entirely to the contrary. That’s what produced a previous blog (which, by the way, netted no feedback at all??). However, maybe I shouldn’t be shocked since people think if they learn more they may have to wear T-shirts like this:

Idolotry of Patriotism - 1/09/07

So, today, I got the following email and usually, I blow this stuff off, but not today.  Today, I’ve had enough.

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.

Recently, large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the U.S. might protect its own  borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let’s say I break into your house. Let’s say that when you discover me  in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, “I’ve made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I’ve done all the things you don’t like to do. I’m hard-working and honest (except for  when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add  me to your family’s insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work) because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be
there.

It’s only fair, after all, because you havea nicer house than I do, and I’m just trying to better myself. I’m hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me!!  I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me!

Why can’t people see how ridiculous this is?  Only in America….

If you agree, pass it on (in English). Share
it if you see the value of it as a good simile. If not, blow it off,along with your future Social Security funds.

So, this was my response:

I usually don’t reply to these emails, but honestly, where is your compassion for humanity?    This story shouts “Me! Me! Me!”  Why do we feel like we can disregard the teaching of Jesus under the guise of patriotism?

Jesus said give to all who ask of you and if a man forces you to go one mile, walk with him two.  Not only that, but if he sues you for your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  (Matt 5:40ff)

Jesus wasn’t into protecting a lifestyle (or speaking only one language; He spoke at least two).  He broke the cultural barriers that kept the Samaritans poor and struggling.  He came to give life to people, not just Heaven in the future, but a full abundant beautiful life here and now.

Jesus ate with “sinners” (people who by the way, weren’t “perfectly honest”) and associated more with them than with the finger pointing Pharisees.

If you want people to stay in Mexico, get involved with a project or mission to improve their country.  Have compassion on  the poor.

 Lay down your flag and take up your cross.

Do As I Say, Do As I Do - 3/13/07

So the other day I realized how much easier my life would be if I just took my own advice…

Common phrases I repeatedly use with my children that I need to apply to my own life and relationships:

“Use your words.”
I often tell my kids this when they are so upset they throw a fit or throw things in frustration. I can’t help them if I don’t know what they need help with. They have to explain exactly what the problem is if they expect me to fix it. Getting upset and expecting someone else to “figure it out” is unrealistic.

“Jesus said ‘Be nice to others. Even when they’re not nice to you.’”
We’re all human and as humans, we make bad choices. I’ve been done wrong, I’ve done wrong. You’ve been done wrong, you’ve done wrong. Its when we let go of the ‘right’ to get revenge that we are set free to restore a broken relationship. Loving people hurts, but in most cases, its worth it. Besides, nothing is better than seeing the bewildered look on a would-be enemy’s face when you’re nice to them.

“People are more important than things.”
If Billy wants the ball, let him play with the ball. Its your ball. You’ll get it back. If the ball meets its demise, big deal. Its just a thing. Don’t make Billy feel bad for ruining your ball. You can buy another ball. Billy is one of a kind. Things are temporal. People are eternal. Act like it.

I just need to keep the Main Thing the main thing. Life works better that way.

Today’s Forwards - 11/28/07

I received two forwards in my “inbox” today. Both were from people I love dearly. Both were completely different and both got a response from me.

FWD: 1

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
Why the Politically Correct Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a “Holiday”.
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under your “Dream Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

Response to FWD: 1 (please note, this is not my entire response, I first started out by telling this person how much they meant to me and that I was ranting about the poem and not the person who sent it to me)

There are a lot of presumptions (incorrect ones at that) in this poem and most of it is just silly. Especially this part “as they took away our faith” Are you kidding me? Does the author of this have any idea what early Christians went through? We’re not even being persecuted, let alone executed like they were. We live in a secular society. Many people aren’t believers and its ridiculous to ask them to act as though they are. I especially can’t stand the political aspects of this poem. Jesus wasn’t a Republican and lots of Christians are Democrats. And don’t get my started on “Christmas” trees which were originally worshiped by some pagan outfit somewhere. Anyway, I’m just tired of middle class, white, self righteous people who think their brand of Christianity is what is right for everyone and its okay to be rude and obnoxious to anyone who doesn’t agree with them. Where is the love in that? The only way to win people is to be a light and to be hope and to share your faith out of your relationship with people and your relationship with Jesus. I’ve never met anyone that was won over to the Way with a ballot, or a picket, or an internet forward about offended Christians. Jesus said we aren’t to be offended. Isn’t part of dying to yourself giving up your right to be offended? The only people Jesus railed on were “believers” and religious leaders and mostly because they had wrapped themselves up in their wrong ideas and had no compassion for the lost.Didn’t mean for this to be so long, I just think this poem embodies everything that is wrong with the right wing Christian movement of today. I know I’m especially sensitive to this because I live in a liberal college town and talk to people who hold up these things as examples of why they would never consider coming to church.

Whew!! Are you still with me? Cause if you are, here’s your reward:

FWD:2

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed ‘The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and never finished.’ So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off 23 Bud Lights, a bottle of Absolute, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel

Response to FWD: 2

Funniest forward EVER!!

Love Advice from an Expert* 4/1/07

Only three more days until we go on our 10 year anniversary trip and I am SO excited!! My mom will be taking care of the kids here and so far I’ve cleaned our house, grocery shopped, worked on all the laundry and even typed up a Grandma Edition of our Childcare Handbook that we have for our sitter.

All I have left is to finish laundry, go buy a few things to wear on the trip and go back over all the cleaning again to freshen up the house. Then it will be time to PACK!!

SO, in celebration of 10 years of making it work, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to share:

When you’re married and you want to stay that way:

1. Always fight fair.
a. Never use the words “you always” or “you never”. Its rarely accurate that someone always or never does something. They can always think of an exception and you won’t win an arguement this way.
b. Don’t talk about eachothers mom/dad/sister/brother etc. ’s flaws when your having a disagreement. Not only will you say something you regret, it doesn’t help your arguement progress to a resolution. 2. Don’t tell your mom/dad/sister/brother/etc. about your disagreements. They are not unbiased. They will take your side, even when you’re wrong. You and your spouse may quickly get over your arguement, but your family doesn’t forget as easily. 3. Communicate your needs to your spouse. Tell him/her how you feel about something and when you need something. He/she can’t read your mind. 4. When your spouse asks you to do something, or points out that they would like you change something, consider it and then give it a try. If it bothered them enough to bring it up, it’s important to them.

5. Read about “Love Languages“. Gary Chapman has written that there are five basic ways people recieve love. You need to know what your spouses love language is in order for them to feel love. For example, my love language is touch and Travis’s is acts of service. So before we discovered this, he was always doing dishes, laundry, or whatever to make me feel loved, but I wasn’t feeling loved cause I just wanted to be hugged and cuddled and kissed. I always tried to express love to him with touches and he wasn’t feeling loved because I rarely did anything for him. Once we got our love languages figured out, he started being more affectionate and I found things to do for him. The emotional aspect of our marriage improved greatly.

5. Last but not least, lower your expectations. As crazy as it sounds, when your expectations are low, you’re rarely disappointed. Now, I have the best husband in the world, but sometimes, I start demanding perfection from him and it is at those times I’m miserable. I have to remember that he’s human. He can only do so much. Nobody’s perfect and there are things that I can just let go.

When you’re not married and you want to get that way: 

1. Make a list. List everything you want in a mate. This list will clear things up for you in a hurry. Be willing to do two things: Live up to the list yourself (you can’t have “super sexy bod” on the list if you look like Jared’s “before” photos) Only date people who fit your criteria. That will save you time and heartache.

2. Take the emotion out of it. As unromantic as it may sound, its a good idea to evaluate a person before you become to emotionally attached. (this is the purpose of the list!!)

3. Choose carefully. If you really want a marriage to work, you have to ask yourself if this person is someone you can be with for the rest of you life. Ask yourself if this person will be a good parent to your children. Remember their history will probably repeat itself. If a person is not good to you before you marry them, they won’t magically get better after taking wedding vows.

4. Put your heart into it. Once you’ve evaluated and found someone, give it all you got. Stay faithful, talk about the future, be excited, and most of all, fall in love.

VD - It’s Not Just For Lovers Anymore - 2/11/08

So,yeah, Valentine’s Day is coming and I seriously don’t want to hear one more whiney person talk about “Singles Awareness Day” (ever notice that the acronym is “SAD”?”) Cause I’ve got something to say to you “single” folks out there. And that’s this: Get over it.

I know way too many single gals and fellas that stay single because they are so focused on it. They complain about being single. They rage against Valentine’s Day. Being single becomes their identity. This self pity perpetuates a vicious circle. You’re single, so you’re focused on you, which makes you unappealing, which makes you stay single.

Whatever you do this Thursday, don’t sit at home and have movie night with your single friends talking about how much “Love stinks”. Words are very powerful. Attitudes are too. Don’t keep affirming these mantras, cause they suck the love right out of you.

You see, Valentine’s Day is about LOVE, SO, LOVE somebody. Call your Grandma, babysit for your not-single friends. Buy your nieces and nephews some of those awful pink and red stuffed animals and more chocolate than they can eat in a week. Volunteer at a shelter, or soup kitchen, or political campaign. Do something for someone at church. Get out there and focus on others. When you’re focused on others, you become less self serving and way more attractive.

Take my advice and by this time next year, you’ll be beating off suitors with a stick.

Patriotism for This Generation

Conservative radio talk show hosts have been blasting Michelle Obama for not being “proud enough” of her country, but I’d like to propose that she’s probably more proud than most of us who are carrying her husband to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

The generation that embodies the current movement in this country to elect an African American inspirationalist to the White House has mediocre patriotism for a reason. We never had to put our families into boats to cross the Atlantic for religious freedom. We never shot at Red Coats, or fought with Natives. We never had to blaze trails across a vast and unknown land or fight in a civil war. We never suffered from a the starvation of the Dust Bowl, or from the Great Depression. We weren’t saddled with the responsibility of freeing thousands from the repression of Adolph Hitler. We didn’t experience John F. Kennedy, the Cuban Missile Crisis or race the Russians to the Moon. We’ve never greived the loss of a sitting president.

No, we were raised in a time when Americans were individuals. Pride in our country was passed on to us like an heirloom that we cherished, but never really possessed as our own. Americans of our generation never had to band together to defeat anything or overcome any adversity. The generation before us told us the horrors of war, particularly the war that was lost during their early years. We never understood the need for war. Even in both Iraq wars, the country was never consumed by it. We didn’t send all of our men to fight and leave our women to build the artillery. No, even during those wars we just went on with our daily lives, worked in our offices, drank our cocktails and watched reality television.

But now, here we are, at a crossroads with real prospects, because you see, that reality television did give us something. It gave us the knowledge that we have to power to change someone’s fate. Whether it’s voting someone off of American Idol or electing the man of our choice to the White House, we now understand the power of making a choice. And for the first time in our generation, we are not just individuals who can do very little, we are a united people who can again bring out the greatness of our country. Finally, we are proud Americans.

Vote, Baby, Vote - 3/3/08

About 6 weeks before Super Tuesday, I was picking up the living room and had the TV going in the background. My 7 year old son came in, plopped down on the recliner and said, “What happened?” and I said “What?” very flatly. He pointed to the TV and said “That. What happened?” I glanced at the TV and said “Oh, a lady was killed in Pakistan.” I’d been hearing about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto for days, and quite frankly, it was on another planet as far as I was concerned. But my 7 year old persisted. “Who killed her?” I slowed down and started to pay attention, not to the TV, but to my son. “They don’t know. That’s why they’re talking about it.” then he asked “But why did they kill her?” I looked at my husband for help. He said “They didn’t want her to be the leader of their country.” My son got this look on his face, his eyes narrowed and you could see the contemplation, “But why did they kill her?” I was confused. What didn’t he get? “She wanted to be the Prime Minister and some people didn’t want her to be, so they killed her.” Again, he was thinking. Then he said it all “So…. why didn’t they just ….not vote for her?”

That was the moment for me. That was when I decided to pay attention. That was when I decided to get involved. I listened to the debates, I choose carefully and on Super Tuesday, our family of 5 stood in line in the freezing rain for about 45 minutes to be counted among the supporters of Barack Obama. It was cold, our three year old only had on a hoodie, we hadn’t been expecting to stand outside at all, but there we were, in line, in the mud in the freezing rain and wind. It would have been easy for us to just go back to the car and say forget it, but Benezir Bhutto wouldn’t let me. A lady I’d never really cared about before was now the inspiration to have my voice heard. I don’t even know what she stood for, but I do know this: She didn’t die in vain.

Do your part to be heard. Treasure the opportunity to take part in our peaceful change in leadership. Not everyone gets that chance.